Jonah

As unlikely as it may seem, you've spent your life outside of the internet in hard, dedicated training to the martial arts. Remembering now the wise and careful tutelage of your Master, Pu-pi Wang, you brace your back to receive the bear and now, exerting your hardened leg muscles in the way you were taught so that you don't throw your back out, you lift up the great weight of the bear on your shoulders and begin to move.\nTo move at a cautious pace, go to [[ >>32|32]]\nTo throw caution to the wind and gallop about like a mighty steed, go to [[ >>34|34]]

Congratulations, you are now in the living hell of New Jersy! It's like New Jersey but worse.\n"Welcome to Marlbahro, New Joisey," says a cheerful woman with frilly hair and a big nose. "Would you like some cawfee?"\nYou simply stare in shock and confusion, so she goes on. "Hey, I'm tawkin t' you! Where y' frum?"\nTo graciously accept the cawfee and chat with the woman, go to [[ >>36|36]]\nTo punch the woman in the face while shouting antisemitic slurs, go to [[ >>48|48]]

The weight of the bear immediately crushes your back and you fall unceremoniously onto the floor. The bear tumbles off and you lie on the floor, trying to groan in pain but unable due to the lack of air in your crushed lungs. It occurs to you that at least your body now matches your spineless personality. Haha. You die.\nGo to [[ >>37|37]].

The bearsuited man begins to make an uncharacteristically girly giggling sound as the cucumber falls out of your mouth, onto the floor. The man unzips first his bear suit, then another man shaped skin suit, to reveal your little sister. \n"Haha, I tricked you, onii-chan!" she exclaims playfully. \nTo offer your little sister a tummy rub, go to [[ >>38|38]].\nTo attempt to rip off her skin to see if there's anyone else underneath, go to [[ >>39|39]].

You invite the fursuiter into the den, where you start a fire and pour yourselves two glasses of bourbon, but the two of you barely take a sip before breaking out into disgustingly passionate love making. The furry claws run themselves all over your meek, desperate body. You pulse with desire. The man's clammy unbrushed tongue forces its way into your moist, longing mouth. Your pairs of gums and teeth play a quartet in perfect sexy counterpoint. Upon conclusion of this torrid movement, the bear man lustfully unzips his pants and pulls out a hot, throbbing cucumber. Literally.\nTo fellate the cucumber, go to [[ >>27|27]].\nTo make salad, go to [[ >>28|28]].

"How about the video arcade?"\nThe man looks disappointed, but nods. \n"Sure, I guess. It's a date. But you can't go dressed like that."\nTo go dressed like that, go to [[ >>29|29]].\nTo put on your own fursuit before you go, go to [[ >>30|30]].

"And furthermore, consider the death of choice. We delude ourselves with the idea that there are infinite possibilities, that every choice branches exponentially. But it's a lie. There's no defeating time's arrow in life, no save states, no back button. And thus choice is an illusion. We have but one fate, one sad and narrow path, dark, unwinding, ending in pointless darkness. The smack of her lips, the cracks in the sidewalk, the giggles of children on old steam trains are all preludes to that laughable end, that str-URGH!"\nYour amateur philisophizing has been cut short by the bear, who ordered the shark to bite off your arm. You scream in pain and look down in horror at your arm - or lack thereof - but the bear shows mercy and whacks you in the head with the shark like a pinata. Instead of candy there is blood and guts. You never wake up to share the prize.\nYOU HAVE DIED\nTHE END

The elf shows you how to properly feel the grain of the bone whilst pushing the knife down slowly through the coarse material that bone is to create perfect shapes. You soon are very good at this and able to make skillful bone objects with relative ease.\nTo make bone masks go to [[ >>43|43]]\nTo make bone Knives go to [[ >>31|31]]\nTo try to find excellent shark and bear bones that are the best for making superb bone weapons go to [[ >>33|33]]

You take the cucumber into the kitchen, leaving the bearsuited man confused and alone. You grab your trusty vegetable knife, chop up the cucumber into thin slices and toss it into a bowl. An inspection of the refrigerator reveals a bottle of thousand island dressing with unappetizing frozen drips down the sides, a nearly-empty bottle of ranch, and a homemade balsamic vinaigrette that's getting old.\nTo give up on dressing all together go to [[ >>35|35]].\nTo cast your fate to the wind, go to [[>>r0|/dqn/kareha.pl/1355706703/r0]].

You show up at the video arcade wearing an unwashed T-shirt and jeans. The bearsuited man catches sight of you and gives a roar of frustration and betrayal. He bounds over to you on all fours, rips out your heart and eats it. \nTHE END

You greedily shovel some cake into your mouth one handful at a time, you hungry pig. The elf watches in disgust as you devour half the cake without even bothering to get a plate. He clears his throat meaningfully.\nTo inspect the elf, go to [[ >>5|5]].\nTo continue stuffing your face, go to [[ >>7|7]].

[CYOA] Choose Your Own Adventure! [Collaborative]

"Worm worm worm worm worm."\n"Worm worm, worm."\n"Worm worm worm worm?"\n"Worm worm worm worm worm mrow worm worm worm worm...."\n"Worm. Worm, worm. Worm!?"\n"Worm*."\n"WORM, WORM, WORM WORM"\nWorm worm worm worm worm, worm worm [[ >>70|70]]\nWorm worm worm, worm [[ >>71|71]]\n*Worm worm worm

"Good thing this isn't a visual novel," you chuckle to yourself as you pull a sudoku and a pen out of your pocket.\n┏━┳━┳━┳━┳━┳━┳━┳━┳━┓\n┃０┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃\n┣━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━┫\n┃　┃　┃　┃　┃宙┃　┃★┃　┃　┃\n┣━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━┫\n┃　┃馬┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃Ｘ┃\n┣━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━┫\n┃　┃　┃あ┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃\n┣━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━┫\n┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃ｌ┃　┃　┃　┃\n┣━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━┫\n┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃◎┃\n┣━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━┫\n┃　┃　┃ω┃　┃　┃　┃瀟┃　┃　┃\n┣━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━┫\n┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃＊┃　┃　┃\n┣━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━╋━┫\n┃　┃〒┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃　┃\n┗━┻━┻━┻━┻━┻━┻━┻━┻━┛\nThe sudoku is unlike any sudoku you've seen before. You can't seem to make heads or tails of it. But it's too late now, you're committed!\nTo draw a 🍲 in square B8, go to [[ >>100|100]]\nTo draw a 🌌 in square D4, go to [[ >>101|101]]\nTo draw a 🎸 in square G6, go to [[ >>102|102]]

<div class="aa">Upon completing the deed, you are struck by lightning and die slowly and painfully, your horrifically burned flesh still twitching slightly as you pass from the world of the living. You never even make it to [[ >>37|37]]; your soul is devoured by a screaming catgirl monster from the Twelfth Plane of Torment. You deserved it, you monster. \n\n　　　　　　　　 .r'/ﾞ　　　ヽ.,ヽ、　　　　／／　　　ﾞ; l, \n　　　　　　　 !.;ﾞ　　　　 ,. >　ヽ~´⌒~ ゝ.. _　　　 .; l, \n　　　　　　　　i.lﾞ　　／ﾞ ,.､ッr'^｀ゞ'~ゝ､_,.､｀ヽ　　! l \n　　　　　　　 {.!　／　,､.ノ ;'　;　　;'　　;　　｀ｰ'ヾ｀ヾ |、 \n　　　　　　　　|l /　　ﾉ,　 ,i., ;.ｉｉ　ｉ ;' 　ﾞｉ ; .,　;　｀,´ぅ　)ヽ \n　　　　　　　　("　　ｒﾞｉ　 ,i.' ｲｉｉ　ｉ ; 　　!; .;ｉ　ｉ .; '; ';ﾞ´ゝ） \n　　　　　　 (　　〈ｉ　ｉ.; ,! !ｉ ! :ｉ:i . . : !ｉ ;.! ｉｉ,!, ｉ. i　｀ﾞ',´ \n　　　　　　　 (r;ゝ､ｨﾞ i　´!i !｀!i~i ﾌ:i : : : ! ﾉi､'_ﾉ !:ｉ　!: ;　'; \n　　　　　　　 j .: ::,.,i　!: _i_;_i　_い i.:i : : : ｉ !ｉﾉﾉ｀ﾌｉ　;　;　ﾞ! \n　　　　　　　 i .: ｲ｀!: !; !.　　　　　ｰ-= ﾑム'_::　! i: :!　; : :!. \n　　　　　　ﾉ : ﾊ :ｉ:: !;:ｉ　 -=･=-､ﾞ　　　　　　）ﾗi‐┴=:ﾑj \n　　　　　　ﾉ :' : ::､!::i ;.i　　　　　　　 -=･=-/ ! \n　　　　　 / .' : : : :ｉ　ｉ ;ｉ　　　　　　, 　｀　ﾊ l \n　　　　　./ .:' : : : : ｉ　ｉ ;ｉ　､_,,､-v'"' 'ﾞ' '.y_‗ . ﾉ::: :l \n　　　　ﾉ .:' : : : : :/ｉ　ｉ ;! ｀ﾞ､ﾞ､"|　　　/← You \n　　　ノノ' '"´｀ﾞ '〈､.!: !i;: !ﾞ'　､｀`| /|　|´, ﾘ : :i:: :iﾞ､ \n　　 /ｲ´　　　　　　i: : :!:.i　　((. /|　| | ´ !;;　::ﾘ: i::ヽ、 \n　 ,ｲ´　　　　　　!: : !'.i 　　Ｕ　 .Ｕ;:ヽ!;;　;:' : iヽ;::ヽ \n\nTHE END\n</div>

You have no money.\nTo punch the woman in the face for her insolence, go to [[ >>48|48]]\nTo leave the café and go play video games instead, go to [[ >>6|6]]

You wake up asleep in the dream world. There are jews everywhere.\nTo not wake up go to [[ >>37|37]]\nTo go to sleep and enter the land of the double dreaming go to [[ >>538|538]]

As you wander once more into the bowels of the forest, you reflect on your recent sororicide. You didn't even realise that you had it in you to perform such a heartless action. You suspect that were this a visual novel or some such, you'd be in the final few minutes before reaching the Bad End. \nTo change your mind and commit seppuku after all, go to [[ >>99|99]]. \nTo commit to completing a sudoku, go to [[ >>58|58]].

Your imouto turns and looks straight at you. Sensing your opportunity, you sweep in and kiss her squarely on the lips. She doesn't resist; on the contrary, after a moment's hesitation she responds in kind, her warm, soft lips nuzzling gently against yours. After a few seconds, she pulls away, blushing. She says "O-onii-chan, I didn't know you felt this way about me!"\nTo confess your undying love for her, go to [[ >>63|63]]\nTo say nothing and start licking her face, go to [[ >>65|65]]\nTo "play video games" with your little sister, go to [[ >>67|67]]\nTo passingly wonder who truly understands you, go to [[ >>47|47]]\nTo unlock the secret harem ending, go to [[ >>72|72]]

You go out into the world, naked and cucumbery! However, since you're a hikki, the "world" is just the internet. Where shall we go today?\nTo visit Chatroulette to show off your naked cucumber body, go to [[ >>64|64]]\nTo browse DQN, go to [[ >>3|3]]\nTo browse SAoVQ, go to [[http://www.secretareaofvipquality.net/saovq/kareha.pl/1360126246/|http://www.secretareaofvipquality.net/saovq/kareha.pl/1360126246/]]

You run and dash and flee as fast as your puny legs can carry you, never once daring to look back at your estranged bearsister. After what seems like an eternity of running (about 3 minutes) you must stop from exhaustion. \nFortunately, it seems like you lost her. Unfortunately, you realize that the vines on the ground are alive. They begin winding around your legs and arms. Out of the darkness the face of an unholy vine-tentacle monster appears. Two bright orbs stare lustfully at your body. More vines begin to caress your body.\nIf you have a bone knife in your inventory, go to [[ >>73|73]] to cut the vines loose and fight the monster.\nIf you have a bone mask equipped, go to [[ >>62|62]] to use your mask to scare away the tentacle monster.\nOtherwise, you are brutally raped over and over again until you die. The End.

you enter the genital store, you are amazed and appalled by its ostentatious selection.\nto equip the naked cucumber, go to [[ >>51|51]]\nto equip sexy bear photo, go to [[ >>49|49]]\nto equip equip equip equip equip equip equip, go to equip equip equip equip

Yo∵∴∵∴the b∵∴∵∴k∵∴∵∴∵∴!!?\n∴∵ou have no Bone Weapon∴∵ whatso∴∵ver∴∵∴∵∴∵[[ >>37|37]]∴∵\nIf you ∵∴∵∴∵∴just a n∵∴mal Bone Knife, it's n∵∴∵∴∵∴enou∵∴∵∴go ba∵∴∵∴∵k t∴o [[ >>37|37]]\nI∵∴f y∵∴ have Exquisite Bone Weapon and Armor Sets (x3) go to [[ >>91|91]] ∵∴∵∴hur∵∴ry∵∴∵∴for GOD'S SAKE HUR∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴

"One tea set, please!" you chirp cheerily. What a fool. You mixed up [[ >>86|86]]. Warm flavored water will not save you now.\nTHAT WILL BE 666 BONES booms Blood God.\nYou toss two times thirty three times eleven bones into the blood pool.\nThe blood god laughs a lucky laugh. The walls shake, your earrings jingle. It is a charming chuckle, a gracious guffaw. The laugh drips with petticoats and juniper. You feel and see your pinkies pulsing.\nAS YOU WISH, MORTAL.\nA tiny terrifying tea tray tumbles out the pool, followed by creatively reddened saucers, teacups, teapots, and assorted bloodverware. He even throws in blood powder teabags. \nYou have obtained the Blood God's Tea Set!\nThe pool dims, the blood god sinks back into his dreary depths.\nTo host a tea party, skip to [[ >>222|222]]

As a murderer of ILL REPUTE, it is only natural that you wish to kill some dudes.\n\nYou set out in search of dudes, but the street is empty and devoid of movement, save for a few dancing autumn leaves and parabolic pepper birds swooping like pendulums. The air smells crisp and fiery. The concrete is cracked. You shiver slightly.\n\nYou walk until you come to a busy intersection. Cars, taxis, buses and trucks speed to and fro, splashing puddles and smelling of gasoline. These dudes are too fast to murder.\n\nYou take a right and continue on, past shuttered storefronts and empty lots. You try every door. Eventually, you find an unlocked door, which leads into a narrow, dirty lacquer hallway. You hear vague sounds in the distance, it's so muffled that you can't tell if it's an argument or just normal conversation. You walk toward the noise.\n\nDim fluorescent lights flicker overhead. You pass nameless gray doors with faded labels. A fragrance of stale Chinese food and sawdust wafts through your nostrils.\n\nAt the end of the hallway is a rickety steel grid staircase, spiraling down and up into a dim vertical corridor. The sounds are coming from above or below, you can't tell which.\n\nTo go up, [[ >>93|93]].\n\nTo\ng\no \n\nd\n\nO\n\n\n\n<a>w</a>\n\n\n\nn\n\n\n\n[[ >>90|90]]

You are at the reflecting pond.\nTo cast a gold coin into the reflecting pond, go to [[ >>83|83]].\nTo cast a bone into the reflecting pond, check out [[ >>84|84]].\nTo leave the reflecting pond, go to [[ >>85|85]].

You don't have any gold coins.\n[[ >>82|82]]

Welcome to your SECRET HIDEOUT! You are a murderer of ILL REPUTE.\nThe TV is smelly and smoke wafts through the broken screen window. You step over an amalgamation of crumpled socks and pizza napkins. Your hair is greasy and the flow of water is little more than a trickle. You are consumed by an off-yellow sofa.\nTo reflect on your sins, go to [[ >>82|82]].\nTo fashion a bone mask from the dead bodies in the closet forest, go to [[ >>43|43]].\nTo post a new CONTENTLESS thread on DQN, go to [[ >>81|81]].

Please enter a verification code.\nTo enter yeickive, go to [[ >>81|81]].\nTo enter DQN, go to [[ >>3|3]].\nTo enter the secret cheat code, go to [[>>r0|/dqn/kareha.pl/1355706703/r0]].

"I desire unending power," you declare boldly.\nALL POWER COMES WITH A PRICE booms Blood God.\nYou taste iron rising in the back of your throat.\n"I have sacrificed countless DQNs for you. If you lend me your power I will sacrifice even more."\nThe blood god laughs a lewd laugh. The floor shakes, your ears ring. It is an unchaste chuckle, a gangrenous guffaw. The laugh drips with snot and semen. You feel and see your veins pulsing.\nAS YOU WISH, MORTAL. EVERY DAY YOU MUST CONSUME ONE MORE LIFE TO SUSTAIN YOUR POWER\nEcstatic energy shoots from your toe to your skull. A murderous mania. A hypertension hype. A blazing bloodlust. Your vision is blinded by a deep, thick red. You vomit copper and sandstone. Power surges through you.\nCongratulations, you are now an unholy demidemon!\nYou regain consciousness in a shanty of Liberia. You hunger for death. Now to choose your victim of the day.\nTo murder a man, make your way to [[ >>135|135]]\nTo waste a woman, why not [[ >>112|112]]\nTo checkmate a child, check out [[ >>181|181]]

"I desire entry to your realm," you declare boldly.\nONLY THE TRULY FOUL MAY FROLIC HERE booms Blood God.\nYou taste iron rising in the back of your throat.\n"I have sacrificed countless DQNs. I tire of such simple fare. Now I'm after a bigger prey. You."\nThe blood god laughs a lewd laugh. The floor shakes, your ears ring. It is an unchaste chuckle, a gangrenous guffaw. The laugh drips with snot and semen. You feel and see your veins pulsing.\nAS YOU WISH, MORTAL. I WILL ENJOY CONSUMING YOU.\nEffervescent eggs crack over your skull. A masturbating monkey. A hypoglycemic hipdter. A backhanded bathtub. Your vision is blinded by a deep, thick red. You vomit copper and sandstone. You fall into the pool of blood.\nYou regain consciousness in the blood god's realm. You are surrounded by pain and torture.\nPiss your pants! [[ >>136|136]]\nFight the father! [[ >>144|144]]

As a secret murdered, you have plenty of bones. You pull out one of them and toss it into the reflecting pond.\nThere is a low rumble and the sound of a thousand dying goats screeching miles away. The pond turns red with blood and the ripples begin to coagulate and fold over themselves in horribly gooey mess. The room is filled with deathstench.\nFrom the depths of the reflecting blood pond an ancient horror rises slowly, blood dripping from its unspeakable multitude of horns. Its many nostrils flare and squirt dark acidic phlegm. \nWHAT IS YOUR DESIRE the Blood God booms.\nTo request entrance to the Blood God's realm, go to [[ >>86|86]].\nTo request the Blood God's Power, go to [[ >>87|87]].\nTo purchase the Blood God's Tea Set, go to [[ >>88|88]].

You are a murderer of ILL REPUTE. You are roaming the streets aimlessly.\nTo go back to your secret hideout, check out [[ >>80|80]].\nTo murder some dudes, go to [[ >>89|89]].\nTo go to church, saunter on over to [[ >>92|92]].

You read through the list of threads, but nothing is interesting. Something, however, catches your eye. The title is "[CYOA] Choose Your Own Adventure! [Collaborative]." \nTo start the adventure, go to [[Start]]. \nTo go play video games, go to [[ >>6|6]].

You continue stuffing your face and something snaps inside you. The need to consume consumes you and you don't stop at the cake. You methodically begin to chew away at the table it's on, the surrounding chairs, the elf, the refrigerator. You eat the living room, the dining room, the basement. You eat the house, the neighborhood, the city. You eat the world, the solar system, the galaxy, the universe. You are the universe, the universe is you. You have consumed all.\nTHE END

Upon opening your sister like so much fishnet stockings you find that she contained a much smaller new nephew and child of yours and a large worm in her cranial cavity where her brain should have been.\nTo try to talk to the worm go to [[ >>59|59]]\nTo impregnate your child/nephew go to [[ >>245|245]]

You carefully approach and hold out your hand in a peaceful gesture. Your sister cocks her head and slowly lowers her guard, so you move in and begin caressing the soft flesh of her belly. Her skin feels like sunflowers and innocent crime. You give her a hug and look at her face, which is when you realize that she's actually your little sister, she hasn't changed one bit, there are no more creatures hiding underneath that quiet skin but the creature called Love.\nEver since your parents died and left you all alone, you two have shared so many triumphs and failures, mishaps and fortunes. You feel a warm feeling of platonic, brotherly love. No need to complicate it with sex. That could be disastrous. Or is there?\nTo snuggle and peacefully fall asleep with your sister, go to [[ >>54|54]].\nTo try kissing your imouto, go to [[ >>56|56]].\nTo complain about how long and complicated all these branches are getting, go to [[ >>800|800]].

If you're gonna to make bone weapons, you're gonna do it right. You wander back toward your house, and before you know it, you run into your sister/bear. She/it followed you into the forest! You eye the bear and shark under her arm hungrily, already imagining the deadly beauty of the weapons you could make from their precious skeletons.\nTo politely ask for their bones, go to [[ >>44|44]]\nTo fight bear hands with bare hands, go to [[ >>45|45]]\nTo persuade the bear and shark to fight each other, go to [[ >>46|46]]

Step by step, you slowly move through the kitchen. Your sisterbear squealsgrowls in girlishbearish delight as you circle the kitchen.\n"Let's go outside!" she saysdemands.\nYou limp through the kitchen, stagger down the hallway, mince through the parlor, swagger across the boudoir, sway into the solarium, step out of the scullery, simper past the dungeon, crash through the foyer and out into the backyard. As unlikely as it may seem, you've spent your life outside of the internet in hard, dedicated training to the martial arts.\nDespite the wise and careful tutelage of Master Pu-pi Wang, your legs and back are starting to fatigue, thanks to the long, slow journey through the house. The sun is already beginning to set. You gently put your sisterbear down. The sisterbear growls happily and immediately bounds off into the forest, finally able to reach her true home. You notice that she left a bag for you on the ground.\nTo chase after your sisterbear, go to [[ >>40|40]]\nTo inspect the contents of the bag, go to [[ >>41|41]]

Fortunately, there happens to be a mysterious skeleton laying around in the forest from which you are able to fashion a dozen sharp bone knives. Congratulations! Bone Knife (x12) has been added to your inventory. \nAs soon as you finish carving, you hear twigs snapping. The elf gets spooked and disappears, leaving you alone and scared. You whip around to see none other than your little sister/bear. She/it has followed you into the forest and is approaching fast!\nTo offer your little sister/bear a tummy rub, go to [[ >>15|15]]\nTo battle the bear with your bone knife, go to [[ >>42|42]]\nTo run away deeper into the forest, go to [[ >>50|50]]

You show up to the arcade wearing a bear suit and holding a shark. You think you see your date when you realise hat everyone in the arcade is wearing a bearsuit and holding a shark. This is troublesome since they are all identacle and smell alike.\nTo ask each person if they are your imouto/bear go [[ >>53|53]]\nTo wait until she finds you go to [[ >>714|714]]

<div class="aa">WE∴∵COME TO ∴∵∴∵E LAND∴∵∴∵F THE DEAD\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 ∴\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　∴∵∴　　　　∴\n　　　　　∴∵∴　　　　　 ∴∵∴　 ∴∴\n　　　　　　　∵∴∵　　　　　 ∵∴　 ∴::: i^i_i^i_,‐､\n　　　　　　　　　 ∵:: .　　　　　　∵:.　　::/U::∪:｀U ..::∵∴\n　　　 ∵∴∵ 　　　　 : .　..　　　　:∵..::(つ/ ⌒ヽ).）　 ∴∵\n　　 ∴∵∴∵∴: : . 　　 . :　　　　　 : .　| : | | 　　|　　 ∴∵\n. : ∵∴∵　　　....... :　　.::＿＿＿　　　. :　|　:∪ / ﾉ　　 ∴\n.. : :∵　　　 ....::　　:: . :::::::∴∵∴＼. :.:　　| ∵| ｜|　　 ∵　 ∵\n.∴∵　　　::..::　　 .:::::::∵∴∵∴∵:＼:　　|∵∪∪　 . : 　　 ∴∵\n.∵　　　 ∵::　　　:::∵：(･)∴∴.(･)∵. l　 / . ∵ :: . : 　　　 ∵\n∵　　 ∴∵::.　　　::∵∴／ ○＼∵∴ | /　　　:: 　　　　.∵\n..　　 ∵∴::　　　 .::::∵/三　|　三ヽ∵ |/....:∴::　　　　　.∵　 ∵∴∵\n.　　 ∵:..:.:/⌒ヽ::l⌒`i::..|　＿_|＿_　│∵|...:∵::　　　　.. :　　 ∴∵\n. 　 :/⌒ヽ|　　|;; ;|　　|､.|　　=＝=　　│／∴::　　　　. :　　 .∵∴　 ∴\n.　 :（　ヽ;;ヽ_‗ﾉ;;; ヽ_‗ﾉ !＼＿＿＿／∵　::　. ... . :　　　 .∵　　 ∴\n..∴　>‐ ／￣.. ＼;;;;ゝ_‗`ト､.(●)━..:∴::　　　　　　　 . : 　　 . ∴∵∴\n∴. （ : :/　　　　,. i〃　　　 l　　. . . . . . . . . . .... .. . :　　　 ..:∵∴: \n∴∵￣|　　　 /.| |､l＿＿_ノ　　　　_!＿!　　　　　　　　 .∴:\n　 ∵　 |　　　| ：| |.　|　　　　　 ./∵∴ﾞi　　　　　 . :　　　　　.:∴∵∴\n　　　 |　|　 |　 | |. /.∴∵;;;;/‐‐| .∵∴ :: .. .... . :　　　　 .∴∵∴∵\n　　　 | ｜　|　Ｕ.::､∴∵;;/;）　ﾞi∵∴∵:: ... .. ... .. . : :∵∴∵\n　　　 | ｜　|　　 :: .￣￣￣　　ﾞi∵∴∵::.. ...::∴∵∴∵\n　　　 / /　/ 　　　: . . .　　　　（￣￣.... ::∵\n　　　 / /　/ 　　　　　: :∴∵ : . 　￣.:∴:.\n　　　.しし’　　　　　　　　:: :: ∵: : .\n\nYou se∴∵e a ∴∵∴∵∴∵ approaching you.\n\nTo ∴∵∴∵∴∵ g∴∵ ∴∵o [[ >>90|90]]\n∵∴∵∴∵ bone kni∴∵∴t∴∵ [[ >>52|52]]\n∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴[[ >>666|666]]∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵\n</div>

The woman hands you a slip of paper, upon which is written Fee: $5 per caw. \n"What on earth is this?" you ask. \n"It's a cawfee, of course." she replies, giving you a look which suggests that she is questioning your relative mental capacity.\nTo purchase a caw, go to [[ >>55|55]]\nTo punch the woman in the face for her insolence, go to [[ >>48|48]]\nTo leave the café and go play video games instead, go to [[ >>6|6]]

You decide you will never dress again. You hastily strip all the clothes off your body. You swear to stay naked the rest of your life. While you're feeling crazy you might as well dump the cucumbers all over your body. You do this. The cucumbers are cold and green all over your goosebumpy flesh. It's chilly but titillating.\nTo go back to the den, go to [[ >>49|49]]\nTo go out into the world, go to [[ >>51|51]]

Let's go! With wild abandon you begin prancing around at top speed! Your sisterbear groansroars in orgasmicgrizzly excitement as you crash through one room after another.\n"Ohhhh!" she moansgrowls.\nYou shoot through the kitchen, blast down the hallway, speed through the parlor, tumble across the boudoir, dash into the solarium, whiz out of the scullery, gallop past the dungeon, trot through the foyer and out into the backyard.\nDespite the wise and careful tutelage of Master Pu-pi Wang, your legs and back are starting to fatigue, thanks to your reckless pace. The sun has not yet begun to set, but you gently put your sisterbear down. The sisterbear purrs and giggles in postclimactic delight and falls down on the ground, as exhausted as you. You lay down beside her and hold hands. \n"That was amazing," she whispersgrunts into your ear, sending a chill down your spine. After you two catch your breath and have wallowed in endorphins for a while, you both sit up and watch the forest sadly. \n"I need to go home now," she says with a melancholy smile. "But first I have a present for you." She holds out a bag.\nTo convince her to stay with you forever, go to [[ >>47|47]]\nTo let her go and accept her present, go to [[ >>41|41]]

by ( ˃ ヮ˂)

She runs away in terror of the bone creature she believes you to be. However you soon die of old age go to [[ >>37|37]]

You are peacefully browsing DQN on a Saturday afternoon when you hear a strange noise downstairs. Like a really loud grumbling stomach. That's strange, you thought nobody was home.\nTo go downstairs inspect the noise, go to [[ >>2|2]].\nTo ignore the noise and continue browsing DQN, go to [[ >>3|3]].\n\n\n\n\n\nSECRET WARP ZONE for developers only!!\n[[37]] [[38]] [[42]] [[66]] [[69]] [[72]] [[79]] [[85]]

The tentacle monster is not scared at all by your puny bone mask. In fact, it finds it quite arousing! You are brutally raped over and over again until you die. The End.

"I love you undyingly," you try to say but the words get jumbled in your mouth. Out comes streaming a fetid pile of gray putty. It's bubbling and steaming. Your imouto screams.\nThe room is slowly filling with seething mud and the stench of putrid sulfur. This is the physical embodiment of your self-loathing, laid bare for the world to see. Your imouto desperately tries to crawl for safety, but the sticky substance cradles her tightly. The cucumber has already drowned.\nYou feel inexplicably cold. All the wasted opportunities, all the unfulfilled dreams, all the sloth and pampered worthlessness spills out of every orifice of your body. Your eyeballs bleed thick, slimy insecurity, your eardrums spit soupy depression. Your nostrils vomit worthless jelly, curdled and wrinkly like elephant skin. Sloppy regrets drip out of your colon and urethra.\nThe putty is boiling but you're cold, oh so cold. You try to hug your imouto close but she has already disappeared into the gray aquarium of your whole meaningless life.\nTo boldly take control of your life, go to [[ >>9999|9999]].\nTo find a shortcut to empty pleasure like you always do, go to [[ >>999|999]].\nTo give up, go to [[ >>99|99]].\nTo play video games, go to [[ >>9|9]].

[And flaunt your naked body is covered with goosebumps logon cucumber, Chatroulette. Dick Crow both calls drop-down replacement chickens. Better than the beloved sister is my second with the addition of a pleasant surprise, she's horny! \nHot Cyber sex underage illegal ツルペタ sister arrival line [[ >>69|69]]. \nFirst of all, cut the [[ >>68|68]] new chat from the partner search.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of your imouto?\nLick lick lick lick lick lick. Lick lick lick lick. Oh god. Lick. Lick lick, lick lick lick lick, l!ck. I'm cumming. Lick lick lick lick, lick. You cum. Lick.\nYour imouto's face is gone because you have licked it away. There is nothing but diamond left. It hurts to continue licking so you stop. It stops to turn and nothing excellent remains. The remains of your sister will rot in time, as will you. You bury your head in your dead diamond sister's dead diamond head and dead and dread and bled instead tread sped fled.\nBut there is no fleeing now, only death.\nGo to [[ >>0|0]].

<div class="aa">CONGRATULATIONS, YOU HAVE FOUND THE MAGICAL GOLDEN SHIT!\n\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　▂▄▃▃▃▃\n　　　　　　　　　　　　▄▆▀░▒▓█▀\n　　　　　　　　　 ▄▆▀░▒;▒▓█▀\n　　　　　　　 . ▆▀░░▒▒▓▓█▅▅▃▃\n　　　　　　　 █░░▒▒▒▓▓█▓▒░░░▀▦▃\n　　　　　　 █░░░▒▒▒▓██▓▒░░░░░▀▅\n　　　　　　 █░░░░░▒▒▓▓▒▒░░░░░░▋\n　　　　 ▅▀█▃░░░░░░░░░░░░░▃▦▀▅▃\n　　　　.█▒░░▀▀▦▦▅▅▃▃▃▅▆▦▦▦▀▀▒▒▓█\n　　　　 █░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▓█\n　　 ▃▦▀█▃░░░░░░░░人░░░░░░▒▓█▀▦▃\n　 ▐▒▒░▀▀▀▦▦▦▦▦▆▅（＿_）▅▆▦▦▦▦▦▀▀░▒▓█\n　　 █▒▒░░░░░░░░ （＿＿）∩░░░░░▒▒▓▓█\n　　 ▀█▒░░░░░░░░（・∀・）ﾉ░░░░▒▒▓▓█▀\n　　　　▀▀▦▦▅▃▒░░░∠_＿_ﾉ░▒▒▃▅▦▦▀▀\n　　　　　　　　　▀▀▦▦▅▃▃▃▃▃▅▦▦▀▀\n\nYOUR QUEST IS OVER. YOU ARE A WIN.\n</div>

You find yourself living in a shotgun shack.\nYou find your large automobile gone, go to the police processing center [[ >>402|402]]

Enough of this chatroulette crap, you turn off the computer and go find your imouto.\n"Let's play video games!" you suggest. Your imouto agrees, and you lead her to the bedroom.\n"What are we going to do on the bed?" she asks with a pomf.\n"Let's play a two-player game. You use both your hands and mouth, like this." You gather her in your arms and kiss her smooth, creamy-white forehead. You kiss her neck, flicking your tongue to caress her sensitive skin. You rub her flat chest, sliding your fingers over her two buttons.\n"Now you try," you say, guiding her hand to your joystick, which she begins stroking cautiously. "Great job, just like that!" you say encouragingly. \nYou lift up her shirt to reveal her controls. Your mouth latches onto one nipple and your fingers rolls the other between them. Not wanting to lose, your imouto takes your ear in her mouth and slides her tongue inside.\n"Let's go to the next stage," you suggest, lying her down on the bed and removing the dust cover.\nYou line up your joystick with her control port and tuck the tip inside the opening. Her hands grab onto your rear controls as you slide into place. \n"Docking complete!" she announces. "Commence operation!" You deftly thrust your control stick in and out while continuing to interface with your imouto's upper controls with your fingers and tongue. She reciprocates. It is a dangerous game.\n"Fire!" you eventually announce, shooting explosive ordinance into her base. Your sister explodes. You explode. The universe explodes.\nTHE END

There is a [[ >>0|0]] here. She has betrayed you for the last time. MURDER!\nThere is a [[ >>12|12]] here. He knows too much. You poison him. POISON!\nThere is a DETECTIVE here. You dispose of him and deploy a decoy. DETETIVE!\nThere is an ANGRY POLICE CAPTAIN here. He is annoying. BANG!\nTo run away to your secret murderer hideout, go to [[ >>80|80]].\nTo turn yourself in, go to [[http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1361318860/|http://4-ch.net/dqn/kareha.pl/1361318860/]]

span.dqn {\n display: block;\n margin: 0px;\n}\ndiv.aa {\n font-family: Mona,'MS PGothic' !important; \n line-height: 100% !important;\n}

You shamble down the stairs to inspect the kitchen. The dishes have not been washed and there is a suspicious stain on the floor; but you knew that already. Your chocolate cake is waiting on the table. One slice has been eaten. There is a magickal elf sitting on top of the refrigerator.\nTo eat some cake, go to [[ >>4|4]]\nTo inspect the magickal elf, go to [[ >>5|5]]

*To finish the latter dosage of those hallucinogens you consumed earlier, go to [[ >>9|9]].

"Hey, whusshat?" you say, pieces of cake tumbling out of your mouth as you speak. The elf looks at you as one would an animal rolling in its own filth, then puts his whatchamahoozit away and, with a click of his tiny fingers and a puff of smoke, vanishes. Just then, your little sister walks in. \nTo offer your little sister some cake, go to [[ >>10|10]]. \nTo do something silly with/to your little sister, go to [[ >>11|11]].

<div class="aa">∴∵∴∵∴∵Th∴∵e exquisite bone armor protec∴∵ tsyo∴∵u from the inco∴∵ming waves of tanasinn. You r∵eady your exqui∵∴∵site bone knife and charge at Doraemon, who is cracking the egg of devourpain and moaning. \n\nYou thrust the exquisite blade into the tanasinn yolk. You shed a tear for your fallen bearshark buddies, but the tear dissolves into tanasinn. Doreamon screams in pleasurepain as he begins to dissolve with everything else. The tanasinn yolk glows a brilliant white, and rays of tanasinn begin to gush out. You are blinde∴∵∴∵d b∴∵yv∴∵∴∵∴∵\n∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵\n　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵\n　　　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵\n　　　　　　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∵∴∵∵∴∵∴∴∵\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∵∴∵∴∵∵∴∵\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∵∴∵∴∵∵∴\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∵∴∵∴∵∵\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∵∴∵∴∵\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　∵∴∵∴\n　　　　　　　　　　　　∵∴∵\n　　　　　　　　　　　∵∴\n　　　　　　　　　　∵\n　　　　　　　　.\n　　　　　　.\n　　　.\n　.\n\nYou wake up at [[ >>667|667]].\n</div>

<div class="aa">∴∵∴∵∴∵∴　　　＿＿＿_ \n　∴∵∴　　　／_ノ　ヽ､_＼ \n　ﾐ　ﾐ　ﾐ　　oﾟ(（●）) (（●）)ﾟo　　　　　　ﾐ　ﾐ　ﾐ　　 \n/⌒)⌒)⌒. ::::::⌒（_‗人_‗）⌒:::＼　　　/⌒)⌒)⌒) \n|　/　/　/　　　　　|r┬-|　　　　|　(⌒)/　/ / /／　　 \n|　:::::::::::(⌒)　　　　|　|　 |　　／　ゝ　　:::::::::::/ \n|　　　　　ノ　　　　|　|　 |　　＼　　/　　）　　/ \nヽ　　　　/　　　　　`ー’´ 　　　ヽ /　　　　／　　　　　バ \n　|　　　　|　　 l||l　从人 l||l 　　　　 l||l 从人 l||l　　バ　　　ン \n　ヽ　　　一’’’’’’"~∼｀`’ー-､　　　-一’’’’’’’ー-､　　　　ン \n　　ヽ＿＿＿＿(⌒)(⌒)⌒)　)　　(⌒＿(⌒)⌒)⌒))\n∴∵[[ >>0|0]]∴∵∴∵∴∵u∴∵∴∵∴∵\n∵∴∵∴∵A∵l∴∵\n　　　　　　　　＿＿＿_. . . . . . . .`ト､.(. . . . . \n　　　　　　／_ノ　ヽ､_∵∴∵∴∵∴ :|　　|､∵∴∵∴∵∴: : . . \n　ﾐ　ﾐ　ﾐ　　oﾟ(（●）∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵(・)∵∴∵∴∵.. ＼;∵∵∴∵∴ . . \n/⌒)⌒)⌒. ::::::⌒（_‗∵∴∵∵s∵rugGle∵∴∵∴∵∴　　│／∴∵∴∵: : : ‥ \n.　　　　 | ∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴‥ 　　　　　　　‥∵∴ : : . \n|　/　/　/　∴∵∴∵∴∵(・)∵∴ :　　　　○　三　tanasinn\n|　:::::::∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵‥　　三　＼_＿_　　　∴(・)∴∵∴ : : .\nヽ　　　∵/∴∵∴∵(・)∴∵∴∵∴ : . 　　　￣=＝=　‥∴∵∴ : : ‥ \n　|　　∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴ : ‥\n∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴∵∴\n\n∵\n\n\n.\n</div>

You climb up the stairs. With each step, your desire to murder wanes. The steps continue for ages, with no end in sight, but your legs do not fatigue. Rather, they feel lighter and lighter. A pleasant scent fills the air. Eventually, you look up and can see the ceiling. It is bright and blue, like the sky. There is also a ledge, but you can't see over it. \nYou look back down through the steel grid, and see nothing but stairs. The air is thin. You feel like you've been climbing for miles.\nThe sounds have gotten louder. Brief bursts of laughter, like an audience watching stand-up comedy. But the laughter is the same each time. A recording?\nYou climb up the remaining steps, and see what looks like the entrance of a theater. Large ornate doors padded with green felt. There is a young, well-dressed usher blocking the entrance. She has fiery red hair and a severe but kind face.\n"Your ticket, please, sir," she says.\nYou notice there is an infernal ticket booth in the right wall.\nTo murder the usher, go to [[ >>98|98]]\nTo fall in love with the usher, go to [[ >>95|95]]\nTo buy a ticket, go to the infernal ticket booth at [[ >>123|123]]

You arrive at the large, ornate, ivory-and-shit steps of a big church. T∵∵a∵sin∵ speaks to you:\n"Hello."\nTo immediately quit the creature's presence, go to [[ >>104|104]]\nTo ∴∵∵ where no∵∵e ha∵∴ go∵ne b∴for∵∴∵∴, go ∵∴ [[ >>106|106]]

A tingle of nervous gratification shoots along your nerves. The feeling of oppression that had burdened you is lifted. Despite yourself, you fall deeply in love with the usher. Butterflies copulate in your stomach. Blood rushes from your head to your heart. Your murderous rage is overwhelmed and replaced by boundless desire. You wish nothing more than to give yourself to this usher.\n"I, uh, I," you stammer. "I, I, I," \nShe smiles and cocks her head questioningly and it nearly makes you melt.\n"Er, I, uh, I," you continue.\n"If you don't have a ticket, you can purchase one at the infernal ticket booth to your right," she says, gesturing helpfully to the vacant glass window.\nTo shout, "I love you!" go to [[ >>108|108]].\nTo sheepishly buy a ticket, go to the infernal ticket booth at [[ >>122|122]].\nTo ask her on a date to the land of the dead, go to [[ >>665|665]].

You press the tempting red button. The giant doors slide open dramatically, smoke hissing out and blocking the view. You back up slowly. You hear the hideous screech of rusty gears turning. A robotic voice booms.\n[KILL AND DESTROY] \nOut of the smoke emerges a hideous deathbot! It looks like a steel crab mounted on a tank. Fortunately, it is moving quite slowly.\nYou glance over to Layla, she's still unconscious on the ground.\nTo grab Layla and run out the way you came, escape to [[ >>409|409]]!\nTo bravely stay and battle the robot, get over to [[ >>75|75]]!

You stumble breathlessly into a warm red room with mauve curtains over a large bed. Phalli cover the walls, hidden in shadows, illuminated occasionally by a spinning disco ball. You collapse onto the bed. An Indian raga begins to play. It is an evening raga.\nTo fall asleep, go to [[ >>96|96]].\nTo sing with the raga, go to [[ >>97|97]].

You are just about to give your little sister a tummy rub, when you notice that she's looking a little hairier than normal, and also happens to be wielding a shark. Then it dawns on you: she's actually a bear! Simultaneously, you do not become aware of the fact that this is the only continuing narrative thread for now, because that would involve breaking the fourth wall. And we wouldn't want that, would we?\nTo run away from your little sister/bear, go to [[ >>12|12]]\nTo have an existential crisis, go to [[ >>13|13]]\nTo offer your little sister/bear a tummy rub, go to [[ >>15|15]]

The bear you thought was your little sister rejects the cake and throws a shark at you. Now you have ruined a perfectly good afternoon by being dead. \nGo to the land of the dead [[ >>37|37]]

Who are you? Where are you going? Who are we really and what's keeping us from just giving up altogether as a species? Everything is nothing. You're just a dot on the canvas, an electron in the lattice, a fish in the great cosmic sea. What does it mean to be human? What does it mean to mean anything? Understanding of your affliction, the bear takes a seat next to you and gently places its paw on your arm. "You'll be alright," it seems to say.\nTo talk it through with the bear, go to [[ >>18|18]].\nTo proposition the bear for a piggy-back ride, go to [[ >>19|19]].

You dash out the kitchen, run down the hallway, shuffle through the parlor, skip across the boudoir, limp into the solarium, stumble out of the scullery, sneak past the dungeon, flip through the foyer and out into the backyard where your run and run like you've never run before, right arm slung horizontally across your eyes to hide the tears. All you wanted was to be loved. \nWhen you come to your senses, you realize you have run deep into the forest, and you seem to be lost. The only clue to your exit is a dim light in the distance, but it seems foreboding.\nTo walk toward the suspicious light, go to [[ >>14|14]]\nTo fashion a shovel out of nearby tree and start digging, go to [[ >>16|16]]\nTo wander randomly in hopes of finding an exit, go to [[ >>17|17]]

You carefully approach and hold out your hand in a peaceful gesture. The bear cocks its head and slowly lowers the shark, so you move in and begin caressing the soft fur of its belly. The fur feels just like a stuffed animal as you rub on it, a big, soft, cuddly teddy. You give it a hug and look at its face, which is when you realize that it's actually a man in a bear suit. He suggests that if this is how you feel, maybe the two of you should go somewhere more cozy.\nTo go somewhere cozy with the fursuiter, go to [[ >>20|20]].\nTo suggest going to the video arcade instead, go to [[ >>21|21]].\nTo run away from the fursuiter, go to [[ >>12|12]].

As you approach it, the light reaches out a single friendly tentacle in your direction. The tentacle wavers from side to side in front of you, strokes you on the cheek, then retracts back where it came from. Suddenly, a number of considerably larger and less friendly tentacles swarm towards you from all sides, and the scene ends much as it would if this were some form of infamous Japanese erotica. \nTHE END

Somehow you got to an exit, as you leave your bear/sister shark gets you and you and offers you to play videogames with you. \nGo to [[ >>9|9]]

When you begin to carve the tree a magical elf jumps out and tells you if you spare the tree he can either teach you to be a bone carver or teleport you to a city in upstate New Jersy.\nTo become a bone carver go to [[ >>23|23]]\nTo go to the living hell of New Jersy go to [[ >>25|25]]

You crouch, bend over and motion to your back.\n"Hop on," you say. The bear growls in pleasure and leaps onto your back.\nIf you spent your previous life training and exercising, go to [[ >>24|24]].\nIf you spent your previous life dicking around on the computer and have a weak body, go to [[ >>26|26]].

"Bear bear bear," you begin tirelessly, "Who is life? What do I scrape off of the sun? When is God? Where is the ketchup? Why are the answers?"\nThe bear's capacity for sympathy seems to be slowly fading as your ridiculous rant continues, but you pay no attention. \n"I mean really, bear, I'm just an insignificant spot - no, speck - no, spigot in this horrendous vortex, signifying nothing. Oh, but with what ugly gall does this meaningless affliction of life continue to prance, with such self-deluded importance. Anything we do is but a mere distraction, a vacant buttery sideshow in an empty theater. We are our only audience."\nThe bear takes his paw off your arm, now looking bored and a little hungry.\nTo continue your existential rant, go to [[ >>22|22]].\nTo proposition the bear for a piggy-back ride, go to [[ >>19|19]].

Anger overwhelms you.\n"Go shotgun a bowl of piss shit, you fucking kike," you exclaim, slamming your fist into her face. She stammers back, stunned. "Why don't you go drizzle some diarrhea on your dad, you cocksucking goatraping schmuck!" You throw another punch before she can react, one after another. You feel your face grow hot. You can't see straight. Rage consumes your body.\n"You fucking shitbrained cuntlicking dyke, why don't you just fucking kill yourself?" you implore as you continue to beat and kick her ruthlessly. She weakly tries to block your punches with her arms, but you are too persistent and easily cut through her guard. Eventually she stumbles to the ground and you begin kicking her. \n"Eat a fucking can of herpes jizzshit, you fucking Yiddish cormorantfucker. Gargle a bowl of shit, fucking Hebe," you shout while stamping on her face.\nYou grab a nearby pot of coffee and slam it down onto her sobbing, bleeding head.\n"There's your goddamn 'cawfee!'" you scream.\nShe is no longer moving. It's useless to continue beating her. You are breathing heavily.\nThen a realization creeps through your body like ivy. A chill runs up your spine. It is slowly dawning on you. You don't want to but you look closer at her face. You can't deny it any longer. This is your fate.\nShe is you. You are her. You have killed yourself.\nYOU HAVE DIED\nTHE END

You return to the den, naked body dripping with cucumbers. The bearsuited man is nowhere to be seen, but it seems he left you a sexy photo of himself on the floor for you.\nSexy Bear Photo x1 has been added to your inventory.\nSince there's nothing left to do here, you go out into the world. Go to [[ >>51|51]].

"Hey shark! Are you always gonna let that bear swing you 'round like you ain't no thang?" you demand.\nThe shark says something sharky.\n"Don't give me that. You gotta have more respect for yo'self, sistah!"\nYour sisterbear growls curiously.\n"No, I didn't mean you. Sister was a figurative term."\nYour sisterbear growls in disappointment.\n"Anyway, shark, it's time to show that bear that she ain't the boss of you!"\nThe bear and shark begin quibbling with a confusing series of snarls and grunts. They gnash and they claw, they groan and they mumble. You are not quite sure how anything substantial might be communicated through these primitive sounds, but you assume that the bear and shark know instinctively through years of evolution how to interpret the subtle nuances.\nFinally, the two stop arguing. They seem to have come to an agreement. You are the true enemy.\nThe bear throws a shark at you. Now you have ruined a perfectly good afternoon by being dead. You didn't even make any bone tools.\nGo to the land of the dead [[ >>37|37]]

ONLY DQN UNDERSTANDS ME!\nsorry to hijack this thread\nI am happy to share this with you

"Excuse me, I would like to fashion some exquisite bone weapons," you say. "I was wondering if I could use your bones?"\n"If you want our bones, you must make a trade," the sisterbear growls.\nHer sinister tone makes you involuntarily gulp with fear.\n"What kind of trade?" you ask.\n"We will die, and you will harvest our bones. You will make three sets of the most exquisite bone weapons and armor in the world from our bones. One for me, one for the shark, and one for you. Then you will stab yourself in the chest with a bonesword and join us in the land of the dead."\n"And what if I don't kill myself?" you ask.\n"Then our bones will be forever cursed and bring you nothing but pain and misfortune."\n"I see," you say. "Let me think."\nTo accept their offer, go to [[ >>37|37]], bringing Exquisite Bone Weapon and Armor Sets (x3) with you.\nTo betray your bearsister and the shark by harvesting their bones without killing yourself, go to [[ >>61|61]]\nTo suggest going to the video arcade instead, go to [[ >>21|21]]

You throw a left jab, the bear is surprised and drops her shark. It tries to claw you, you counter with an uppercut, and so in 2 strokes you fell the bear. \nTo harvest its bones and make bone weapons while making a sacrificial offering of two pairs of sets and killing yourself go to [[ >>37|37]].\nTo kill yourself go to [[ >>37|37]]\nTo die of old age go to [[ >>37|37]]

Your sisterbear opens her loving arms wide, an innocent grin spread across her sorry maw. Instead of returning the bear hug you rush forward and plunge a bone knife straight into her heart. She wraps her arms around you and the two of you slump to the ground. You begin to sob.\n"It's okay. I forgive you. It's okay," she repeats over and over, her big bear arms consoling you. You are soaked in blood. The ground is soaked in blood. What have you done?\nYou remove your sister's bear suit and the man suit under that. You gently lay your sister down on the ground.\n"It's okay," she says weakly again, eyes closed, fading from existence. You bend over her and cry.\nOne bone knife has been removed from your inventory. You now have Bone Knife (x11)\nYou have gained the trait Sororicide. The murder of your sister, your one and only true love in this wretched world, will haunt you the rest of your days.\nTo commit seppuku, go to [[ >>99|99]]\nTo leave your bearsister and continue deeper into the forest, go to [[ >>57|57]]

Fortunately, there happens to be a mysterious skeleton laying around in the forest from which you are able to fashion three strong bone masks. Congratulations! Bone Mask (x3) has been added to your inventory. You equip one immediately.\nAs soon as you finish donning your new mask, you hear twigs snapping. The elf gets spooked and disappears, leaving you alone and scared. You whip around to see none other than your little sister/bear. She/it has followed you into the forest and is approaching fast!\nTo scare away your sister with your bone mask, go to [[ >>60|60]]\nTo run away deeper into the forest, go to [[ >>50|50]]

Completely ignoring the heartfelt present your beloved sisterbear left for you, you dash into the forest after her. Sadly, your puny human legs are no match for her bearsuit augmented pace. You soon lose sight of her and end up horrendously lost in the forest. You spy a suspicious light to the North. \nTo go towards the suspicious light, go to [[ >>14|14]]\nTo wander around aimlessly, go to [[ >>17|17]]

Upon opening the bag you instantly find yourself falling infinitely through a black hole that was in the bag. You see the bag in which you are already contained floating next to you.\nTo open the bay go to [[ >>41|41]]\nTo kill yourself go to [[ >>37|37]]\nTo randomly escape go to [[>>r0|/dqn/kareha.pl/1355706703/r0]]\nTo destroy the bag floating next to you go to [[ >>238|238]]

The magickal elf has a strange quality to his person. Your eyes wander as he flickers and morphs nonchalantly, seemingly at odds with the question of just what dimension he wants to stay in, anyway. "Are you done yet, you grotesque being?" he asks with even more disgust. But the cake is delicious and you are far from done. He twiddles his fingers a bit to manifest a beautiful, complex toy - the likes of which you've never seen. \nTo finish the latter dosage of those hallucinogens you consumed earlier, go to [[ >>6|6]].\nTo ask dumb questions about the object while shoveling cake into your gullet, go to [[ >>8|8]].

Yes, instead of playing video games as you'd planned, you decide to finish the latter dosage of those hallucinogens you consumed earlier. You never really had a choice, actually. "Video games" is just your cute little euphemism for your chemical addiction.\nYou overdose on "video games" and begin to hallucinate that you are visiting a strange land called DQN. \nGo to [[ >>3|3]].

and furthermore, butts.\nThe bird dog consumes you and leaves your bones on the rocks below the perch (Though it's smoked salmon not perch). Go to the land of the double dead [[ >>370|370]]

AND THE LORD SAYETH UNTO THE WORM, THOUGH SHALT NOT CONSUME OF THE BEARS AND SISTERS. BUT THE WORM IGNORED HIM, GO TO [[ >>39|39]]

The deathbot looms closer and closer, its pincers clacking ominously while the grinding of its internal mechanisms grows more and more clear with every centimeter of its approach. You haven't much time!\nTo shoot the deathbot with your phasor, go to [[ >>128|128]]\nTo embrace the deathbot with the POWER OF LOVE, go to [[ >>255|255]]

Welcome to 74, there's a large VIPPER standing in the door, so no matter how you got here you're leaving via [[ >>37|37]].

You put up a valiant fight, however the monster is much stronger than you, even with your knife it manages to make sweet love to all of your orifices many times. \nYou end up filled with sweet vine juice in all of your holes.\nGo to [[ >>134|134]] to sit around feeling used.

<div class="aa">You find yourself surrounded by cute lovable creatures!!\n\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　∴　　　_,,..,,,,_　　　　ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!\n　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　‥“　　　〃/ ;' 3　ヽヾ　　　ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!\n　　　　　　　　　ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!　　　　　“　∵　i　　　　 ,l ：‘\n　　　　　　ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!!　：　∵　_,,..((,,_　　〃ゝ　U　 j! _ )))_　　　ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!\n　　　　　　　　　　　・，‥∵..　/ ;' 3　 `ヽｰっ )　　ｿノ'"　　　ヽ‥¨\n　　　　　　∴‘　，_,,..((,,_　从 l　　 ⊃　⌒_つ,.．ｪ‐'´　　⊂　　j从\n　　．¨ ・`,Ｊ∵　/ ;' 3　ヽヾヽ`'ｰ---‐' '' ''"　　　￣_,,..,,,,_---ｰ '¨从・ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!!\n　　　)〃　　　　 i　　　　 ,l　　　　ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!! 〃/ ;' 3　ヽヾ\n‘　，_,,..((,,_　　〃ゝ　U　 j! _ )))_ ∴ ，“　　　　i　　　　 ,l　‥‘∵..ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!!\n,Ｊ∵/ ;' 3　 `ヽｰっ )　　ｿノ'"　　　ヽ从/；　’〃ゝ　U　 j! _ )))_ ∴ ，“　　ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!!\n)　： l　　 ⊃　⌒_つ,.．ｪ‐'´　　⊂　　j!　ゞ・，‥¨ )　　ｿノ'"　　　ヽ从/；　’\n．¨ ・`'ｰ---‐' '' ''"　　　￣゛' '' ''‐---ｰ '¨・：‘　．つ,.．ｪ‐'´　　⊂　　j!　ゞ・，‥¨\n　　　　　　ﾋﾞﾀﾞｧｧｧﾝ!!　　　　．¨ ・`'ｰ---‐' '' ''"　　　￣゛' '' ''‐---ｰ '¨・：‘　．\n\nThe only problem is that they are always sleeping. You spend the rest of your days happily watching and playing with them.\n\n　　　　　　　　､ゞヾ'"'"'ｿ;μ,\n　　　　　　　ヾ　 ,'3　　　　彡\n　　　　　　ﾐ　　　　　　　　ミ HAPPY END\n　　　　　　彡　　　　　　　ﾐ\n　　　　　　　/ｿ,,　,　,; ,;;:､ヾ`\n</div>

You stuff your belly and your cheeks with worms, worms, worms. Your orifices bleed worms in reverse. You consume you worm you wormy worm wormmm. Worm the hot worm chocolate change wriggly worms, one girl is still worm and greedy watching worm letter slimy in worm dirt and worm house and worm food sing worm karaoke. Worm was very popular among the worm children. Worm through the worm eyes. Worm is pleasant to worm every day. Worm is very worm. Worm?! It's worm.\nWORM

You have been devoured by a giant sandworm of Arrakis.\nTHE END.

You are surrounded by little crawling creatures with a thousand tiny legs tickling your bare skin. You are paralyzed. They slither into your orifices and between your organs.\nTo pray to the lord, go to [[ >>76|76]]\nButts, go to [[ >>77|77]]\nTo let it keep coming, go to [[ >>78|78]]

And it just keeps on coming, and it keeps on coming, and it don't stop coming and it falls down the slope.\nFreedom in the solemn house,\nGrowing in the slalom chair,\nIvy clads the secretion chaps,\nPotion of the gamete steps.\nStop. Start. Don't look right or back.\nWait. Scream. You can't exist here.\nYou wake up at [[ >>67|67]].